Right now, my head is full of random thinks. It’s Monday morning, so my outlook is a little on the gloomy side…but as the day wears on, that will change. I know I’m really bad at keeping up with my social commitments (just look at Facebook and this blog… and we aren’t EVEN going to talk about Twitter), but I’m going to do better.
On a good note, last week was semi-productive in that I finished another short story and sent it out for a sound lashing. I have a little more space in my head to spread out another project. I just have to decide which one it will be. There are five open projects (as listed in the last post). The one closest to complete is Loki’s Game, but the one calling my name is the fairy tale.
Writing aside, Rooster and I have a fun announcement to make:
I’m going to have a baby.
The first question I keep having to answer is “how are you?”… Physically, I’m fine. Mentally, I’m somewhere between excited and scared to death. I never really thought about having kids of my own – I’m raising a teenager right now…I love Raven more than chocolate, but there are times when she can be a handful – and now I’m having to really consider what my life is going to be like in a year.
Speaking of Raven, I know she isn’t happy with us (after all, what nearly-sixteen-year-old would be happy about losing her Only-Child status?), but I’m hoping she’ll hurry up and see that this isn’t the end of the world. I still love her absolutely to pieces, and that won’t ever change. She’s still the oldest, and still part of this family. I don’t know if it’s that she thinks she’s going to be less important, or if it’s just jealousy getting in the way, but since the big announcement Saturday night, things have been… well, strained. I have a thousand things going through my head regarding Raven right now, and while none of them are bad, I don’t know how to voice them without making them sound that way.
I don’t want her to pull away from us. I don’t want her to think she’s less important, or not loved anymore, or any of a thousand other silly things that might go through a teenager’s head when faced with something like this. I want her to understand that she is still our daughter.
But I also want her to understand that if anything in the family dynamic changes, it will be a direct reaction to her own actions.
Right now, I am persona non grata to her, so anything I say is going to be taken the wrong way, if it’s heard at all. I understand her need to be upset about it. I really do. But it’s hard for Rooster and me to be happy about it when she treats him like a lump and me like I don’t exist.
Hopefully things will get back to normal soon.
The teenager aside, everyone else seems to be over the moon about it. My mother is already planning to start buying diapers. Lexxx apparently went nuts and started shopping too. Michael is trying to be helpful and give me names (no, Michael… Beauregard is NOT going to be the kid’s name). And my dad… he has been walking around with the biggest, goofiest grin I’ve ever seen.
He likes babies. Especially ones that he can spoil rotten. He’s already talking about buying an RV of some sort to put in my yard so he can come up whenever he wants and play with the little monster.
And I still have 8 months or so left.
All in all, I think this means I need to really buckle down and get some of my outstanding projects out of the way, because soon I’m not going to have any time to do anything.
Wish me luck, guys… I have the feeling I’m going to need it.